“Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?”
So we have all heard the quote above, but we all most likely shrugged it off as being old-fashioned, that’s not true, and what ever else we could think of to not take it seriously to heart and mind. Over the course of the past years when I was off the wagon of walking right as a lady should, I was insecure and looking to just get accepted by every guy I dated trying to keep him around. Thinking that if I had sex with him and I was good at it he would stay!!!!!! Crazy I know INSANE!!! Well it never worked EVER, NOT ONCE!!!
It always resulted in one night stands, them leaving, and when they run in to a “dry spell” they would mysteriously pop back up wonder how I am doing! Honestly how many of you ladies know how this is and feels? I look back and greatly regret it all to the fullest tenth power. Thankfully I came to reality and I started to do some various polls of random men I met at a bar, friends, and when ever the mood striked it that it was okay to ask.
I asked married, divorced, single men of all ages and even gay men these questions.
Q: Do you think if a girl has sex to soon with a guy, he looses all respect and interest?
A: Yes without a doubt we do lose interest and respect because if she was that easy for me, then how easy is she when another smooth talker comes up to her? What if I am gone away for work, how am I to know she has self-control to wait for me?
Q: If a man really cares for her and looks at her seriously in a romantic sense, will he wait for her on her terms?
A: YES YES, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, YES, YES,
Q: If he is only about sex and no commitment how can you tell?
A: If he starts talking anything remotely sexually related with in the first 3 dates, he gets pawsy, and if he has not gotten any beyond date 5 he will move on QUICK!
So now there is a trend here obviously, not once did the genuine / un biased replies differ. NOT ONCE!
Well now the light is starting to shine on this and all those bull crap lines. Men who are only after I call it “The Cookie” are like sales persons at those kiosk in the mall. They shoot you as many persuasions as possible during that short walk past them hoping for one to strike your attention, then if you don’t bite then go to the girl right behind you in your path! As if they never even talked to you. This same pattern goes for clubs, dating site, and work too, have you ever set back and watched? I challenge you to that. Maybe you know a colleague like this? It can happen anywhere!
So say you meet a “sale person” who caught your attention and you decided to take a closer look. He is cute to you, nice, the attraction is there. Now he is going to lay it on heavier to keep you wrapped up in the “game of persuasion” till your sold and give him the money or “The Cookie”. Then he gets the money (cookie) and you leave then he starts right back over with the next girl walking past him!
Have you ever read the book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell? If you have not well its a journal format book by a young guy from Chapel Hill, NC. He was attending UNC for a law degree, very educated, well spoken, clean-cut, and attractive to many. He defiantly had the look you would be proud to show your parents. Problem is this guy is proudly confessing his degrading acts towards women sexually in the most disrespectful ways possible. Here is a quote from him, in his own words.
“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid fucking chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn’t-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people.. if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won’t associate with you. It really is that simple.”
― Tucker Max, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
Read between the lines and you will get the idea of his vulgar book! After I read this book I think I hated men for a while. On top of all these crazy acts he did to women and daughters he became rich from it! He made millions off of treating women like crap! Because they allowed it to happen, they gave in, they fell for the lines, and used poor moral judgement. If they protected “The Cookie” they would not have contributed to this demented mockery and he would have went to the next in line and hope she bites the hook!
Question for you how many times were you laughed after the fact, how many times were you the topic of discussion in the boys locker room, and how strong are you standing by yourself to not allow this to happen again?
Now to make this a little more personal let me share some real testimonial stories from my experiences that “protecting the cookie” is the best policy. See I live in a military town and I get asked out a lot and if they strike me I will go out, for at least an evening out, and an open mind to possibilities of something real happening. The last guy I was interested in whew lawwwwdddd he was fine, tall, tan, handsome, athletic, we had chemistry, we clicked, and had good conversations. I mean we talked on the phone for hours! I was really feeling hopeful on this one!
So from day one I laid out the law iterating over again and in different ways, that sex is not on the menu! We had four dates, movie “The Furnace”, dinner, rock climbing, and then another movie “The Hobbit”. Over the course of time and our time out he was a gentlemen, non sexual, opened doors, and I mean did everything right! Then the last date night came at the movies, I felt comfortable with him to come to my place and we watched another movie and laughed over tea. I told him clearly no “cookie”. He tried of course and I denied him, let me tell you when a man gets denied, then sits alone in quiet thought, its done ladies. That moment right there he is debate on if he wants to pursue you romantically and wait for sex or he wants only sex then time to move on to the next. So he stood up and I asked him to speak up, whats he thinking? I already knew the answer was its done. He said and I quote “you know I don’t think this is going to work” “the whole sex thing, I can’t wait on someone when I don’t know if its good sex”. Can you believe that I am being judged on how good my sex is, before my heart, mind, soul, spirit, personality, and what ever else!
But because I stood my grounds, laid down the law, demanded my expectations to be met, and respected. I was protected! My time, heart, feelings, body, and becoming a gossip in the boys locker room was protected! He didn’t even last a full week and a half! How pathetic is that, how can you call that a man? A man has control of himself. Now to clarify this is not the only time it has worked, I have “protected the cookie” since my promise of celibacy and it has weeded out the “dawgs”. Because of holding out and seeing their real intentions, I can move on easier with out hurt or pain. I see now that I am not the problem they are the problem.
I am writing this for all those ladies out there hoping to find love, real love, and that soul mate feeling. The ones who havent lost hope. I hope to make a movement to turn around the world of dating and stop the madness! Stop the tears and the pain by showing the young ladies to older single ladies that there is nothing better than “old school”, so let’s make a change and take the wheel of control again!
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